Silence is the name of the Golden Gate

“All the Buddhas say that one should learn to be silent, but in daily life one has to speak, so what should one do?”

First meditate on this maxim of Murphie: Think many times before speaking, find at least three different ways to express what you want to say, and then say nothing.

But if you must say something, then make it short, concise, direct, like a telegram.

Don’t waste your life energy on stupid things.

You are a reservoir of energy. If your inner being changes, your whole outer life will be completely different. It will have a different fragrance, a different beauty, a different grace.

Normally you collect all kinds of rubbish, listen to other people’s meaningless talk, participate in gossip, read stupid news, read all kinds of nonsense advertisements… knowing full well that these things are a huge waste of time and energy, yet you do them anyway.

Rubbish words are collected inside you like dust, layer upon layer, your mirror is covered.

If you have words from the heart to say, good. Say it. If you can enlighten others through your words, good. Say them. If your words can help someone to be unburdened or healed, good. Say anyway… Otherwise, it is better to remain quiet, silent. It is better not to burden others with your rubbish.

Meditation is the art of turning off the mind, turning off all noise, throwing away all rubbish so that you can explore the pure space within, explore the treasure that is hidden within you.

If your inner being changes, your whole outer life will be completely different. It will have a different fragrance, a different beauty, a different grace.

And when your inner being becomes a flame of light, you will become a light to others too. Your very presence will create revolutions in the lives of others.

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TIPS: Here is how I was able to stay silent for a long time during my “rebirth” phase of October 2019

1.Going Quiet in the Digital World: Facebook, Instagram, and Phone Social Life in General

• Stop making any new “noise“: no more posting, no more sharing, no more commenting, not even dropping a single emoji on anyone’s post.

Make yourself invisible.

That way, you can still quietly “be there” for a little longer – better than being forced to quit it suddently and feeling bad about it. Not everyone has the strength to let go of their digital life all at once, and that’s why we need this smart middle step:

Stay online, but make yourself invisible.

That’s just the first step. Soon enough, you’ll get tired of silently watching people without interacting.

• Stop answering (hello how are you) calls or messages, not reply to even the simple greetings to avoid being dragged into unnecessary conversations. If someone has a serious thing to say, you will know, or normally they would try again and again or leave you a message. (And honestly, it’s not a big deal if you don’t reply to those “How are you?” messages. No one’s going to ask you forever. No one stays upset forever. And if they do? Great! That just gives you a better reason to go deeper into silence.)
• If it’s necessary and you must reply the message, then keep the answer short, straight to the point. No chit-chat.
• Practice putting the phone aside more often, at least don’t take it to bed, toilet time or during meals.
• Or keep it around as usual (like Gollum with the Lord-Ring) but often disconnect it to the internet for 10 minutes… then 20, 30 minutes… then an hour, two hours… The gap will grow naturally as much as the inner peace.
• Go out with cash, leave your phone behind. At first, it feels weird, even nerve-racking but slowly when you get used to it, you’ll come to love it. And once you do, you’ll find yourself wanting to stay offline more and more.

Key lesson: The more distance you put between yourself and your phone, the more you’ll start to see that life is much bigger and has so much more things to see and makes more sense than what you see on the screen.

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2. Going Quiet in Real Life — Your Physical Surroundings

• Of course, limit social outings, conversations, and meetups… (I was lucky because I didn’t work for anyone.)

• Tell your partner, family, friends, colleges… with that you’re entering a silent period, and ask for their understanding and support. They will.

• During this time of stepping back from social life, if someone talked to me, I just answered “yes” or “no.” Many times, a simple head-nod or head-shake would work very well too.

• Do it with a small smile can go a long way – it keeps you kind without pulling you into conversation.

• No more wasting time-on-phone-and-on-others would save/create more free-time, then find things/hobbies you can do alone: Baking, cooking, gardening, little projects as composing, making videos, handmade stuffs, painting, walking… Never forget: Books help a lot: Long novels, even tivi-series. I loved reading Game of thrones books while watching the seri-show, same as Harry Potter and many other books which were made into movies
• If you are not yet ok with just being and doing nothing, then let’s do more things, anything that lets you spend time with yourself, not with others.

• And if you must be around people, find ways to stay in silence. For example, those days when I went to yoga, I’d arrive a little late like 5 minutes after it had started and people stoped their chit chat. Those ladies, oh, so much talk endlessly. And when the class finished, I’d leave quietly while everyone was still lying in savasana. I left no chance for no one to start a conversation so after a while seeing you like this, people would stop trying or they would not even care if you are there. I became invisible in a way – how peaceful! Do this and you will see, you don’t matter that much.

• Sometimes, a small, gentle smile is enough to stay kind while keeping your distance.

• To avoide small talks, I stopped going to the grocery store nearby but shopping at the supermarket instead, where I could shop quietly and pay with card no talking. I also bought more goods than usual to store and use later so I wouldn’t have to go back soon.

• If I ate out, I’d point at the menu to choose food, pay in cash when the food arrived so I could leave without talking asking for the bill. If I didn’t know the price, I’d just hand over the biggest bill and let them give me the change.

Maybe this sounds impossible in your country, I don’t know. But here in Vietnam, it’s easy to do that almost anywhere. And sure, sometimes people might think I’m rude, so what? I didn’t care much about what they think so it was not a matter.

A few times someone would “rude” back (if we call it “rude”), I liked it even more because everything becomes so simple, short and quick. Everybody shows only cold face, no need even a single emotion gets involve into the business. Saving everybody’s energy.

But to you, if you don’t want to be seen as a rude one, then, a small smile and a small nod when you hand over money/card is all it takes to soften that impression if you feel it’s necessary.

Better to notice this: Being quiet or silence is not rudeness. Don’t mistake one for the other. Of course the way you act or body language during the silence definately matter too. Be silent, don’t be rude.

• Find your own ways to enter silence and remain silence, as much as you can. There are endless ways to make your life quieter, once you start looking for them.

But before you begin, ask yourself: Why do you want to do this? What is the reason?

If you don’t have a good reason to enter this silent world, maybe it’s not the right time yet.

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3. The Inner Silence — Where Zen world reveals

The days I lived in silence were the days I gained the most insight, made the clearest observations, and experienced the deepest realizations… Those were the days that changed my life the most.

But to be honest, I didn’t enter silence as a challenge for spiritual growth or personal transformation, at least not intentionally.

I was into it efforlessly because I was exhausted, I was helpless with the world of words. I was so tired and fed up with the world of words: all the meaningless, useless, emptiness words, included my own words or anyone else’s.

Yes, this is a very important point/confession that I have to repeat: I got into silence because I realized that every word I spoke was trash, pointless, empty or unnecessary.

I was so tired of myself and my own words.
I was tired of others and their talks.

It is this deep boredom, this fed-up with the world of words, this awareness of its emptiness, that finally pushed me into silence.

I finally made my inner peace by accepting myself as a failure in the world of words. (Even though for long time I thought I was good at it because my books got the bestsell-stamp, were printed with big amount and I also got pay pretty well for my skills of writing and speaking etc . Yes, at some points, I had had everything possible from the world of words. It paid me well before it kicked my ass hard.)

And so, before getting back to the beautiful of the silent world… As I have asked you about the reason why you want to do this? Have you also felt enough and felt so fed-up with the world of words – to the point of seeing its meaninglessness?

If YES, I open my arm widely to welcome you take the first step into this sacred world of silence. You are the right one. You are the one, the choosen one – Who chooses who, who knows…

If NO, if you are not yet tired of the word-world, nor seeing the uselessness of it,

then I invite/challenge you to discover it deeper, dive into it deeper with more awareness of every word you say or hear.

Use your words to the fullest. Explore more the world of words to know every-single-corner of it. To taste all the sweetness and bitterness that world could bring.

Only then will you truly know what words can – and cannot – give.

Because if you’re not done with the world of words yet, you’ll find it very hard to walk on the path of silence, fake or true one.

— Nature will help

(If you are…)

When you are unable to be silent on your own, or unable to create a quiet space/atmosphere around yourself, that’s when you should begin to return to nature – where pure, endless silence is always waiting for you

for me, and for us…

Anytime you need to “charge” yourself with silence:
mountains would love to help,
trees and rocks, grass and flowers would love to help.

Anytime you need a rest from the noisy world of words:
clouds and stars are there to help,
rivers and oceans, the sun and the moon, birds and bees, fog and darkness…

It seems God has set the whole beautiful, silent universe here just waiting for you –
waiting for you to step out of the world of the mind, the world of words,
and enter the world of the divine.

Silence is the gate. Silence is the WAY/ the TAO.

“Father” God and “Mother” Nature are there waiting and inviting us

Don’t say no to them,

just nod your head…

or/and

a small nod with a small little smile if you feel generous!

-enough for the day, Phi Tuyết, thank you for reading, namaste