Don’t make life a race, let it be a gift

22/6/2015

This morning I woke up in the pouring rain. The rain heralded a sad season for many businesses. Wrapped tightly in the cotton blanket still filled with warmth, I wished someone was lying next to me. Someone I love. I would snuggle into his arms, feel the warmth of his hot skin, whisper in his ear that it’s raining outside and I’m so happy, let’s just lie still like this, together, feel the warmth of our hands, of our heaving chests, listen to each drop of rain trying to wash away the dirt in the air, wash each leaf, blade of grass to make life cleaner, to make the sky clearer.

I suddenly thought of other people out there, people who don’t have the right to choose what they will do every day. They were trying to hide under their sticky raincoats, rushing back and forth to make a living, taking their children to school, and getting to work on time. Everyone was in a hurry and maybe upset, complaining about an unexpected rain. Perhaps there were not many people in the world who wanted to welcome the morning with a cold rain.

Forgetting the “hateful” rain, what could be more wonderful than waking up every morning to see the person you love still sleeping? Anyone in their sleep looks like an angel — completely fearless, without calculation, without any worries of life — where else can you find that beauty, besides children and a person in their sleep?

I got out of bed, turned on my favorite song about rain, and sang along while making my morning coffee.
While waiting, I opened the book I was reading on the table. And I read a very good story, like this:

“A learned scholar was going through the last moments of his life. A large number of disciples gathered around his bed. Everyone was filled with sadness and waited to hear his last words. The room was absolutely silent because the scholar was still awake but did not open his mouth to say a word. He looked around the room, looking at each of his disciples’ faces — he knew they were waiting for his final instructions.
Stopping his eyes on the table in the corner, he asked his disciples to bring him a cake on a plate on the table. They did as he said. He took the cake, without trembling, calmly brought it to his mouth, took a bite, chewed, swallowed, and then took another bite.
The disciples were still silently following him, not missing a single movement, until one brave person spoke up and asked, “Master, do you have anything to tell us?”

The scholar had just stopped eating when the cake was gone. He looked at everyone affectionately, one last time, then smiled: “Yes, the last thing I want to tell you is that this cake is really delicious.” And then he died, still smiling and with a very satisfied face.”

I hope you don’t find this story difficult to understand, even though it may be strange. A master gave his last and most important teaching to his students, saying: feel, this cake is delicious. Cake, like life, is a gift, a sweet miracle.

All of us often rush to find the lofty truths far away, forgetting the simplest wonderful things close by, forgetting to feel life in the small things that we consider trivial. Because we keep looking for great things, we pass through life like a wind, and then, when we find the great things, our souls are already calloused — no longer feeling anything.

Do you remember what Captain Barbossa (Pirates of the Caribbean 1) wished to do first after breaking the curse? He wished to eat an apple. He wanted to eat a barrel of apples right away. Feel the sweetness on the tip of his tongue — something he could not feel when he was cursed. Well, why not drink a sip of wine, why not eat a delicious piece of grilled meat, why not feel the ecstasy of a woman… But simply want to eat an apple? What a wonderful message about life.

Feel. Enjoy everything while you can. Even if it is just the coolness of a breeze, the sweetness of an apple, the faint fragrance of a flower, or the sound of birds singing in the distance. Everything that exists in this world, around us — feel. Feel, feel, feel and keep feeling. Just that. That is the most essential message of life that you often ignore, because it is too simple, too trivial. Because you think it is too easy and anyone can do it, so what’s so good about it?

How wrong it is to spend our whole life chasing after desires and forgetting about the real life around us. Heaven or hell is created by ourselves — in this life. It is not some world in another time and space dimension, but right here.

Religion does not allow you to enjoy, it teaches: give up, do not indulge. Culture, tradition also want you not to enjoy the present moment, it says, hurry up, the future is waiting. People around you also do not want you to enjoy the present, they say, if you do not do this or that right away, this or that will happen.

And so, listening to all of them, you go through life, at a dizzying speed, so much so that you cannot see the beautiful things around you, cannot enjoy the little wonderful things that are hidden all around you.

By the way, when I talk about enjoying life, please think about satisfying the desires of the soul, not the mind. The desires of the soul are to satisfy the senses. The desires of the mind are to satisfy everything else: comfort, culture, tradition, religion. In general, the desires of the mind are called the ego. Pamper your soul, nourish it with the simplest feelings.

Enjoy the warmth of your loved one’s body, look at the smiles on the faces of everyone around you. Eat and drink because you want to enjoy the taste of food and drink, not to show off or prove anything. Go, go far, to enjoy the freedom and excitement of new lands, not to escape or because you have to.

Give love and loving gestures to as many people as possible, to feel that love is always present, a cool, sweet feeling that needs to be shared, not a passionate, infatuated feeling reserved for only a few people.

Give, to feel that you are rich, not because you are forced to. Live your own life, the way you want to feel, not because of expectations, because of traditions.

Don’t rush through life, because one day, when you realize you’ve gone too fast and you want to go back, it’s too late. No one can turn back time for you to see the things you’ve missed. You will realize how foolish you have been. Trading all your time and life to gain things you can’t take with you when you die. Imagine, if you were about to die, like the master above. What would you do?

Would you want to relive the good memories of the past or would you want to go back in time to do the things you’ve missed? Do you realize? You’re missing a lot of things. The warmth of your lover, her soft lips. Where is the delicious taste of beer and wine or is there only the bitter taste every time you bring one glass after another to your mouth?

Are you missing? Your daughter’s tears or every moment they grow up. Their smiles when they play with you. The pride of waiting for a compliment when you bring home good scores? Did you miss it? The happy look on the wife’s face when she prepares a delicious meal for the whole family. The jealousy of the spouse when seeing her best friend being given a bouquet of flowers by her husband for no reason?

Did you miss it? The fatigue in the eyes of your parents, do you know what your parents’ favorite food is?

Did you miss anything? Or have you missed all the emotional moments of life, because of a race that you race just because everyone else seems to be racing. Because that is the expectation of your family, of society… No, I will definitely not miss it anymore, the moments, the feelings, the gifts that I was given when I was alive. And I think, you should do the same.

A morning rain is also a gift. This morning’s rain is a gift for me, to feel the emotions I almost missed. A delicious meal you eat, a beautiful place you visit, is a gift. A story you hear suddenly, is a gift. A new friend you meet, is a gift. A sum of money you save in your account, is a gift. A compliment from someone else, is a gift. A failure, is a gift, a gift for you to learn and grow. This life is a gift, everything in life is a gift. This present is a gift, this moment is the greatest gift.

Stop thinking that “Life is a race”, instead use this new concept: “Life is a gift”.

Enjoy it as if it were a gift just for you.

And share it as if it were endless.

Then in a moment, you will realize, you are the luckiest person in the world.

Phi Tuyet 22/6/2015

And here is my share on the 22/5/2025

Yesterday morning, once again, I found myself waking up in the rain. It was an unusual rain, if I remember the weather correctly — because I’m not at all someone who cares much about the weather.

I got out of my warm bed and went upstairs, where Matthew was still sleeping, rolled up in the blanket like a cocoon. He must have heard me coming; he opened his eyes and said good morning. I smiled at him and asked if I could lie down with him for a bit. He said yes. So we lay there, holding each other in bed, while the morning rain poured beautifully outside. I didn’t know if he was sleeping, but I wasn’t — I was too busy feeling his body…

(Matthew is my mentee. He’s here with me to learn yoga, writing, meditation, Zen, and many other things. He is the best mentee I’ve ever had. He rarely says “no” to me — and of course, I never ask anything I know he might say no to.)

Matthew has a super hot body — I mean temperature-wise. (Though, to be fair, his body is also “hot” in the other sense, but that’s not the point…) His skin always makes me feel like I’m bathing in a hot spring,
or at least wrapped in a perfectly heated blanket. Maybe it’s because he’s from Canada, where the weather is quite cold compared to a hot country like Vietnam. Or maybe that’s just what he says to explain the heat and sweat during our yoga sessions.

So yesterday morning, I finally had it — that feeling I’d longed for ten years ago when I wrote that post: to feel the warmth of someone I love through their skin, listening to the lovely sounds of the rain and also sounds of the birds beginning to wake up.

So yesterday, in the morning rain, we simply held each other like that for about thirty minutes, until the girls arrived — two girls, also my mentees. They’re staying in the Zen House this week, which is why Matt is staying here with me instead of living in the Zen House as usual.

Matthew, Dim, and Rose — they’re all here for a special training course. They didn’t know each other before coming here, but now we’re like a family. Normally, every morning, Matthew and I meet the girls at the café before returning to my house for the training. But yesterday morning, since it was raining, they came to my house first to ask whether we’d still go to the café or just stay home and have coffee here.

I told them, “Of course we’re still going. It’s our routine — our morning ritual.” So we all put on our raincoats and rode motorbikes to the café, which is just five minutes from home. This city isn’t very big, and my house is in the center where everything is super convenient. How lucky! All the best shops are around my area.

After ordering lovely drinks: latte cafe or cafe sua da or matcha… we sat down watching the rain and started sharing bread, eating, drinking, and of course, talking. We shared what we had learned or what had impressed us the day before. Everyone shared beautiful memories and meaningful lessons. I loved listening to them carefully — after all, that’s not only my role, but they’re also here to learn new things and create beautiful memories — the whole point of the Zu Zen training course.

So whenever there is a conversation, there are hearts listening — not just ears. That’s why every day, whether during the sessions or during our relaxing moments, we talked and laughed a lot, all with hearts.

I reminded them how lucky we are to have the chance to just sit down enjoying coffee in the rain without rushing to go anywhere or do anything. I also reminded them how we are living just like in a movie or a novel… Then I told them why I wanted to come to the café instead of staying home on a rainy morning.

First of all, I wanted them to enjoy the air and atmosphere after the rain. Everything feels so clean and fresh and pure — from the road to the air. And people move much slower. Daily life activities seem to happen in slow motion — a strong flavor of Zen to enjoy and observe.

Second, I wanted to experience life like a normal person. Most people don’t have the luxury of choice. Whether it rains or shines, they still have to go to work, to the market, take their kids to school… They don’t stop their lives just because it’s raining.

I, on the other hand, live a free life — no job, no calendar, no pressure. So usually, when it rains, I would prefer to stay home rather than go out in a wet, uncomfortable raincoat. But today, I wanted to know what it feels like to be out there, on the road, under the rain — like everyone else. Yes, I wanted to experience that simple, beautiful, normal thing. And I had it — how lovely! I was so happy to feel just like any normal person.

Third, I spoke to them about the magic of routine — of building a habit in a city like this — because it can help you feel like you’re actually living here, not just visiting. Not just a traveler, but a citizen.

When you go to the same café every day, the owner starts to know what you like to order. He starts smiling and making jokes. You recognize the people who come every morning — it’s like a little community. Especially this humble café corner — it has a very beautiful atmosphere where many artists in town come every morning for coffee. Just sitting there watching them is such a joy. Even the café’s dog starts recognizing you and wags his tail…

These little things slowly build up a sense of belonging — a feeling that you are part of this place. That you’re not just passing by. That you live here.

And to know a place as if you are a local — that is living another life. It’s one of the most wonderful feelings — to know that in this one lifetime,

you are already living many lives…

…

namaste!!!