The Kisses on my feet

THE KISSES ON MY FEET!
You did not say you love me
It was sad but it’s true
When we were far away
You said thousands of sweet things
When we were together
All sweet things disappeared
I had no idea what happened
I had no idea what was happening
Is it a sweet dream or a nightmare?
I don’t even know…
If it’s a sweet dream then why it’s not sweet
Even bitter sometimes
If it’s a nightmare, then
why I didn’t want to wake up
Even in my worst nightmare
I have never thought about it would happen like this
I kept asking why…
You did not hold me before I fell asleep
You did not kiss me after I’m up either
You did not kiss me on the lips or even the cheeks
You did not hold my hands
You did not ask what music I wanna hear
You did not ask where I wanna go
You did not ask what I felt
So you did not know what I felt
Sometimes I wondered if there is any love
Sometimes I wondered what I was doing there
Sometimes I wondered who I am when you were there
Sometimes I wonder if you had any love for me
I tried to think about the sweetnesses we had
But I just remember only the emptiness and the nothingness
Why why why?
I cried because my mind is so empty
I cried because I remember nothing at all
Is it because there was nothing to remember?
Is it because there was nothing at all?
Thinking makes me tired
Thinking makes me sad
So I stopped thinking
I gave up thinking
And then
Suddenly from nowhere at all
Memory is flooding over me like ocean
And then suddenly I remember
I remember when you caressed my feet
I remember when you kissed my feet
I remember you kissed my feet so many times
I remember you kissed my feet every day
Yes Yes Yes
You did not hold my hands
Because you were busy holding my feet
Yes Yes Yes
You did not kiss my lips or my cheeks
Because you was busy kissing my feet
Yes Yes Yes
You did not ask me anything about what I want
But you gave me anything you think that I need
Even though I remember all that
I still do not remember what I was doing at those moments
I still don’t remember what happened before and after all those kisses
I could not even think
When you kissing my feet
Anytime when you did it
My mind disappeared
Anytime when you did it
My ego disappeared
Anytime when you did it
Even my-self also disappeared
That’s why I didn’t know who I am when I’m with you
That’s why I didn’t know what I’m doing when I’m with you
That’s why I didn’t know anything about anything when I’m with you
That’s why I didn’t even know you…
Who are you?
The man who kept kissing my feet
Who are you?
The man who kept being silent
Who are you?
And why did you?
Nailed me on the cross of illusion and hope
Punished me for my own illusion and hope
Why did you?
Convince me to be in love
Then showed me that love is unreal
Why did you?
Make me hate myself for
craving for more kisses
Why did you?
Nail me on the cross of love and death
Silently…
Patiently…
Watching me crying
Watching me dying
Then kissing my feet
Then kissing me feet
Why why why?
Oh oh oh…
Just like anyone who wakes up from a nap and finds their mind is empty
My mind is empty
I remember nothing
but I do remember those kisses on my feet
Yes I do
Yes I do
You are my beautiful nightmare and I love it!
Phi

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